What’s in a dream?

dreamI have been experiencing some very vivid dreams lately, and last night’s was no exception. I dreamed that I boarded a plane with a friend and her small children. As they settled into their seats, I discovered the plane was actually a narrow plane of wood which barely accommodated our small party.  I had no seat to sit on and had to cling on for dear life to the edge of the wood. I was barely clinging on when an inspector suddenly appeared beside me, asking to see my ticket.  I told him I had a ticket but if I let go of the wood to show him I would fall off. He wasn’t having any of this explanation and told me that if I didn’t have a ticket I would have to leave the plane.  Then…well then I woke up.

I’ve been pondering the meaning of the dream this morning. What I didn’t mention was that the friend who accompanied me on this trip is a dear friend who I got to know when we were both diagnosed with cancer at the same time and underwent treatment together. Sadly her cancer came back when she became pregnant after IVF, two years after her treatment ended. I thought this dream represented my fear of a cancer recurrence with pregnancy. My husband on the other hand thinks the inspector looking for the ticket holds the key to unlocking the dream. He thinks the plane represents pregnancy and that not being able to produce a valid ticket for travel represents my fear that I have no right to be on that plane. Perhaps our two theories are inter-linked – my fear of cancer returning is linked to my fear of getting pregnant and perhaps this is preventing me having a successful pregnancy.

What do you think the meaning of my dream could be? Do you have symbolic dreams too? I would love to learn more on the symbolism of dreams….


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lorna
    Sep 03, 2009 @ 08:13:30

    Gosh, I haven’t a clue re the meaning of dreams but I do know that when you are worried about miscarrying – the weird dreams really flood in. Sorry to hear you have miscarried. Having had 3 early ones too, I can empathise to some extent.
    I also considered writing a blog focusing on my ttc and miscarriage journey in one way I felt writing about it might help diminish my anxieties and grief esp as I tend to bottle things up but then I felt I was consumed enough by it all already and writing about it might make that worse!
    Have you had your progesterone levels tested? I believe that low progesterone was the cause of my first two miscarriages.


  2. Lorna
    Sep 03, 2009 @ 09:33:14

    Just in reply to you again – too long for a DM!!
    Don’t try to force yourself to ‘get over’ your miscarriages. If I’m honest, I’m not sure if we ever do. My first 2 were three months apart, and it will be three years this november and next Feb. It took me 15 months before I decided to go for counselling,and I went to 2 diff counsellors. It did help somewhat but I was still a long way off ‘getting over it’. I think what made me decide that I needed counselling was an acquaintance lost her twins at 34 weeks and although I cried for her, I was jealous of her – jealous because she got to hold her babies, got to give them names, give them a funeral, get some closure. I think with early miscarriages, we don’t have any closure, they just get flushed down the toilet yet they had the potential to be our babies. Owen Fitzpatrick really helped me too (he sorted my time management in the programme ‘Not Enough Hours’) but off screen he helped me a lot. There were some allusions to my grief re the miscarriages on the programme, e.g. the fact that I didn’t laugh any more and that I was so bogged down and I’m sure people were wondering how I let a tiny business affect me so much! But the programme itself just dealt with time management.
    I had a v early miscarriage in Jan this year. Although Owen helped me a lot, I was struggling by May again and went for hypnosis and Psych K therapy, both helped me gain closure – the hypnotist got me to visualise the babies and I pictured them as 2 year olds, with their chubby little arms around my necks and it was a tough week as in effect, I eventually ‘buried’ them. Then I was okay for a while again until mid Aug when the miscarriage would have been due and a good friend had her baby

    This time, my husband rang Owen and he rang and sorted out my head again!

    I suppose what i am trying to say in a very long winded way, is that I’m not sure if we ever get over it, or at least until we have the baby. I’m lucky enough to have 2 healthy kids and I find it hard so I can’t even imagine what you are going through. I think we in Ireland get very het up too about having babies by a certain age, ie early 40s, when is there really any need? Well, I’m just starting to realise that.


  3. JBBC
    Sep 03, 2009 @ 09:54:42

    Lorna, once again this has been incredibly helpful to me and I feel less alone now – I have never received counselling but it is something i think i need to seriously consider. You have given me a lot to think about and thanks for writing such a long detailed comment x


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: