Arrrghh!

I am so angry today. I was scheduled for a day 10 scan to see if there are follicles this cycle. I have been injecting myself with Gonal F all week. I am working today, so I made the appointment for 8.30 am anticipating that even with the customary delay at the clinic, I should be back in work by 10.30 or 11 am at the latest. When I arrived at the clinic there were already two other couples there and the receptionist said that the doctor was running behind. No surprises there – he is always running behind. I asked how much by and she said an hour. I asked her why she couldn’t ring the patients on the list and tell them this. I am so tired of this being the case each time I make an appointment and as I only live 10 minutes away from the clinic, it would make things less stressful if I knew I didn’t have to sit around with other stressed couples in the waiting room.

I went for a coffee and came back in a half hour but neither of the other couples had moved. One man was getting particularly edgy as he said he had to be in work. The tension was really palpable in the room. And another thing, I hate the inane tv shows that play in hospitals and clinics these days. Watching a stupid segment on underwear for Valentine’s Day is not relaxing!

Ok, long story short – two hours later and no one has been seen. I asked where I was on the list and I was 3rd. I reckoned I’d be there all morning at this rate – my blood pressure was boiling and I couldn’t take it anymore. I walked out. I know this means I miss the opportunity to have  a scan and I forego the opportunity to have another IUI this month, passing up a precious opportunity to conceive. But I just couldn’t take it one more minute – I thought back to my treatment in the hospital last August after my miscarriage, all the times I have had to sit heart in mouth waiting for scans, sick with anxiety and I just couldn’t stay in that room with all that tension any longer.

I had to slink into work like a drowned rat. There was no parking, so I had to park the car a mile away and walk in the rain cursing the system with stress levels rising. So this is my question to you. I have changed clinics two times and in each clinic it has been the same thing – unhelpful receptionists, crowded appointment and waiting times. Am I just a grouch? Is this all part of the TTC merry-go-round? Should I just accept this is the way it is?

And my second question is, how is it for those of you who are trying to hold down a job but have to take time off for appointments. My boss and co-workers are understanding (I think)  but there comes a point, where you can’t expect this to last forever. And why should it? I hate the fact that my private business is something that I have to bring into my work arena – but it very hard not to let it happen.

Last question..how on earth are you supposed to conceive a child when the whole process is overloaded with stress??

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9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lorna
    Feb 11, 2011 @ 17:27:45

    No wonder you are going aaagh. I can understand why they might run late later on in the day but why was he running so late so early in the morning. And I know what you mean, for many people, they don’t want to tell work their reasons for needing time off when infertility is the reason and waiting so long can only add massive stress – not the best thing when you have to relax to give a sperm sample or have an internal examination.
    And I agree, why do they have to show inane daytime television – my clinic does too. sometimes they do run late but it is usally a half hour wait, once it was an hour but she was very apologetic. Today was the first time I was taken 5 minutes after getting there!

    Reply

  2. Julia Burke
    Feb 11, 2011 @ 17:36:15

    Thank you for writing about this! It is a post close to my own heart too and I share your frustration. Also, don’t they realise that we are trying to hold onto to our jobs so that we can pay their huge fees!! Arrrgh is right!!!

    Reply

  3. Michele
    Feb 11, 2011 @ 18:20:08

    Yes, there were always “Dr running behind” issues but, with my RE, I was always seen within half an hour. My OB was another story but the man was delivering babies so I could be okay with that.

    Reply

  4. nancyspoint
    Feb 11, 2011 @ 18:20:36

    Marie, I can feel your frustration coming through here. In my opinion, you have every right to be angry. I think a phone call from the clinic would be appropriate when they know they are so far behind. Keep asking for that courtesy. Eventually they might start doing it. It must be difficult sharing such personal stuff in your workplace. I have no worthwhile advice there, although I’m sure they don’t think about it in the same way you do. Just try not to feel guilty, I’m sure they understand. And as for the stress, well one day at a time as they say. I know that gets annoying, but it’s all you can really do.

    Reply

  5. JBBC
    Feb 11, 2011 @ 19:30:28

    Nancy, Michele, Julia and Lorna – thank you all for taking the time to comment – you know as soon as I posted this, I could feel my stress levels dropping. It is wonderful to have a place that I can vent x

    Reply

  6. Lily
    Feb 12, 2011 @ 11:45:49

    Marie, I can totally understand your frustration. Can I suggest you write a letter to the director or whoever is in charge of the clinic. Sometimes I feel people in positions like this are so divorced from reality that a well written letter may just jolt them back a little to reality. It may be a total waste of time but it’s worth a try.

    Clinics which are run like this always strike me as so lacking basic respect for other people’s lives.

    Reply

  7. JBBC
    Feb 12, 2011 @ 11:56:05

    Thank you Lily, I have already started composing my letter and I appreciate your advice and particularly your last sentence.

    Reply

  8. iamstacey
    Feb 13, 2011 @ 06:10:07

    Aargh, I’m so sorry. I don’t know why they can’t just be honest and say, it’s going to be an hour (or three) delay, can you come back or can we reschedule you for tomorrow? At least then you could make a plan!
    I’m still amazed my boss was as understanding as she was. I’d like to try for a 2nd but I’m afraid I’ve used up all her good graces and patience! The last two weeks before the IUI are the hardest as we have to go in more and more often.
    One trick I found that worked for me most of the time was I asked to be seen by the u/s tech instead of the Dr. whenever possible. As it gets closer to the IUI, the doc would insist on seeing me himself, but the u/s tech could do the majority of the scans before then. She always started early (7:30) and I didn’t have to pay a co-pay when I saw her. The only drawback was she just wrote down the info and I had to wait for a call back from the doc or RN later in the day to get the results, but it really reduced the amount of time I had to go in late to the office.

    Reply

    • JBBC
      Feb 17, 2011 @ 11:14:48

      I think this is a great tip Stacey but unfortunately not the set up in this clinic. Thanks for all your continuing support x

      Reply

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