Arrrghh!

I am so angry today. I was scheduled for a day 10 scan to see if there are follicles this cycle. I have been injecting myself with Gonal F all week. I am working today, so I made the appointment for 8.30 am anticipating that even with the customary delay at the clinic, I should be back in work by 10.30 or 11 am at the latest. When I arrived at the clinic there were already two other couples there and the receptionist said that the doctor was running behind. No surprises there – he is always running behind. I asked how much by and she said an hour. I asked her why she couldn’t ring the patients on the list and tell them this. I am so tired of this being the case each time I make an appointment and as I only live 10 minutes away from the clinic, it would make things less stressful if I knew I didn’t have to sit around with other stressed couples in the waiting room.

I went for a coffee and came back in a half hour but neither of the other couples had moved. One man was getting particularly edgy as he said he had to be in work. The tension was really palpable in the room. And another thing, I hate the inane tv shows that play in hospitals and clinics these days. Watching a stupid segment on underwear for Valentine’s Day is not relaxing!

Ok, long story short – two hours later and no one has been seen. I asked where I was on the list and I was 3rd. I reckoned I’d be there all morning at this rate – my blood pressure was boiling and I couldn’t take it anymore. I walked out. I know this means I miss the opportunity to have  a scan and I forego the opportunity to have another IUI this month, passing up a precious opportunity to conceive. But I just couldn’t take it one more minute – I thought back to my treatment in the hospital last August after my miscarriage, all the times I have had to sit heart in mouth waiting for scans, sick with anxiety and I just couldn’t stay in that room with all that tension any longer.

I had to slink into work like a drowned rat. There was no parking, so I had to park the car a mile away and walk in the rain cursing the system with stress levels rising. So this is my question to you. I have changed clinics two times and in each clinic it has been the same thing – unhelpful receptionists, crowded appointment and waiting times. Am I just a grouch? Is this all part of the TTC merry-go-round? Should I just accept this is the way it is?

And my second question is, how is it for those of you who are trying to hold down a job but have to take time off for appointments. My boss and co-workers are understanding (I think)  but there comes a point, where you can’t expect this to last forever. And why should it? I hate the fact that my private business is something that I have to bring into my work arena – but it very hard not to let it happen.

Last question..how on earth are you supposed to conceive a child when the whole process is overloaded with stress??

On the road again…

What's Willie Nelson doing here?

What has Willie Nelson got to do with a fertility blog??

Well, all week I have had this line from a Willie Nelson song going round and round in my head

I’m on the road again

Yep, I’m back on the fertility road again. I have dusted myself off after last year’s heartbreak and all week I’ve been doing my Gonal F injections and sniffing my Suprecur nasal spray. Tomorrow I go for a scan at the fertility clinic to see if the injections have worked and if I can go ahead with an IUI.

I feel excited, I feel nervous, I feel hopeful, I feel anxious, I feel..lots of things..but one thing I know for sure…

I’m back on the road again.

What a day!

Home after a five hour round trip to the fertility clinic – it took longer than normal because of road works. Car was sweltering hot and we were both tired and cranky with each other after our visit to the clinic. However,  the good news is that there are four follicles – two on each side of the ovaries,  but only one is the optimal size at 18 mm ( in a gonadotropin cycle, mature follicle size is between 16-20 mm), and the uterine lining measured at 10 mm in thickness with is good, as optimal should be between 7-12 mm for successful implantation.

So far so good. After the internal exam, the doctor gave me instructions on the Ovitrelle  injection which is to trigger ovulation, and then told us when to time sexual intercourse over the next few days. At this stage she indicated that we were finished and yet there wasn’t a word mentioned of IUI. So I asked the question, what about IUI??? She flicked back and forth through the chart and said oh, are you down for IUI? We were really disturbed by that. She tore up the paper she had written the earlier instructions on and said forget about that then and I will be back in a minute, I need to consult with someone. We were left sitting stunned. It really knocked our confidence in what they are doing in that clinic. I forgot to say that on our first visit, they had no record of my original letter from my GP and had lost my chart so I find this worrying that there is another cock-up (if you’ll pardon the pun) today.

She returned to the consulting room with fresh instructions about when to take Ovitrelle (tonight at midnight) and an appointment to return on Friday at 9 am for the IUI treatment. DH kept making her clarify what she said “so there won’t be any more misunderstandings” . I knew by the tone of his voice he was furious, but I just didn’t want to cause a scene. I was stressed enough with the visit at this stage, that I just wanted to get out of there.

When we got back to the car,  he exploded about incompetence and the money we are spending on this and they can’t even be bothered to read our chart right…and I let him rant on until he calmed down…eventually. We drove out to Barna and went for lunch which helped restore our spirits..until the man at the table next to us had a stroke or a heart attack….literally I mean. DH leaped into action, checking for a pulse (very faint),  clearing a space for the unconscious man, getting cushions from a nearby banquette, laying him down…a right action hero, my husband. Thankfully the ambulance arrived quickly and as the poor man and his distraught wife were taken off to the hospital, we just thought what a day!!!

IVF: three misses and you’re out!

So screamed the headline on the front page of today’s Sunday Times. Not having any personal experience of IVF I cannot comment on this article, so I would love to get your opinions on it.

The  basic tenet of the article is that the Women’s Health Council (WHC) of Ireland has said that infertile Irish couples should not be allowed an unlimited number of attempts at in-vitro fertilisation (IVF) because it is rarely effective after the third cycle and takes a huge toll on their mental and physical health.

Geraldine Luddy, the WHC director, said: “It’s a sad situation. Some people who are infertile would go to any lengths. Therefore it’s important that they have a way out of these treatments and that there is support and counselling for them. After a couple of attempts it might be time to let the reproductive technology end of it go.”

Last week the WHC launched two reports on infertility saying it is “a medical and social condition that often causes significant pain and distress to couples and which many people go to great lengths to overcome”.

It said that it was as stressful as divorce and death in the family, yet because of the stigma and shame attached to infertility it is the “last taboo” in Irish society.

At present fertility clinics are unregulated in Ireland, despite a report five years ago recommending that an authority be set up. As a result there is no limit to the number of times a couple can undergo IVF. Clinics do not have to report success rates, making it difficult for couples to choose where their best chances lie.

So what do you think? Is it time we regulated fertility clinics here in Ireland? Should couples themselves determine how many attempts at IVF they wish to try or are they just been offered  false hope and a drained bank account after the third attempt? I would love to hear your views.